question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
