just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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