Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
