literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
