So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
