Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
