I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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