Yo dont text me then not text me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize