Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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