lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
