You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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