Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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