i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
