I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
