I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
