literally had 100 drinks last night.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
