I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
