I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
