also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize