six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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