bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
