my mouth tastes like poor choices
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
