ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
