Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
