We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
