So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want her autograph on my taint
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
