Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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