shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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