I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
