Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
