I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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