Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
