i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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