The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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