Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
