i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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