The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
