we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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