his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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