I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
