6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
