Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
