is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I need a beard to bite.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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