If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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