i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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