I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
