dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize