Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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