That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize