I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
