You can't special order awesome
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
