I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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