yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
