one two three fourrrrnication!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize