i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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