ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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