Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize