eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
ok first of all what the fuck
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
