I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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