in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
we should paint friendship bongs
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
