Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Houston, we have a blender
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
