Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
