Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
