I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
