i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
