i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
