she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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