im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
