Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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